


The Slip and Fall

by I May Age Regress (shnuffeluv)



Series: Gibbs' Family [6]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Age Play, Gen, Gen Work, Introspection, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic, Panic Attacks, Pre-Season/Series 01, Workplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 06:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15333402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/I%20May%20Age%20Regress
Summary: DiNozzo is having a hard time at work. Gibbs just barely catches it before it's too late. These two still have some talking to do.





	The Slip and Fall

DiNozzo was trying really hard to not slip at the office. Emphasis on the trying, because much to his frustration, he was finding it hard to stay full adult the whole day. He hadn't told Gibbs yet. He was worried about what the man might say, or what he might think about DiNozzo for admitting this. Sure, when he was over at Gibbs' house it was different, but that was the  _point_. That was at Gibbs' house, where it was safe to slip if he needed to. This was work. This was where DiNozzo was supposed to take all Gibbs' pushing to do the job better, faster, harder than anyone else in the agency. This was where Gibbs would snarl at the probies to do the work he needed them to do, and DiNozzo was one of those probies. This was where DiNozzo was supposed to be getting used to the fast pace Gibbs set out and get all the information he needed in a short amount of time. Not where he was supposed to slip up, admit that he needed help, and possibly get a smack to the head for his troubles.

Still, he found himself slipping more and more often. He recognized when it happened: when Gibbs would walk in snarling and ready to bite someone's head off, when they had to go to a particularly bad neighborhood without backup, when he had been working with little to no sleep and he was ready to collapse in a heap at any moment. But he didn't say anything. He didn't want Gibbs to go easy on him, after all. He didn't want to be just another person in the nameless, faceless list of probies Gibbs ran through.

All in all, though, he should have seen this coming. He was running low on sleep, Gibbs had come into the bullpen in a foul mood, snapping at him and Viv to grab their gear, and they had just barely managed to get out of a firefight alive. But he didn't see it even actually happening until Gibbs led him to the back of the van and pulled his thumb out of his mouth. "DiNozzo, now's not the time," Gibbs said. His voice was still sharp, held too much warning, and it caused Tony's eyes to water. Gibbs cursed. "DiNozzo, I'm serious."

Tony knew that being called DiNozzo meant he should be big, that he  _had to_  be big. But right now, he just couldn't be. He didn't know how to get out of this hole he hadn't even realized he fell in. "Can't," Tony managed. "I can't."

Gibbs looked him over and pinched the bridge of his nose, and Tony felt a wave of guilt crash into him. "Okay. Okay," he said. "But I don't know how to not let Blackadder know something's up."

Tony fiddled with his hands, trying to come up with a solution himself. He needed to prove himself useful, or Gibbs might cast him aside, and he definitely did not want that. "Could say I have a sore throat, so I can't talk on the way back?" he offered.

Gibbs thought it over, shaking his head. "She might insist you talk to Ducky, and I want you nearby to be safe."

Tony frowned. "I could be working with evidence in the back of the truck?"

"She could just as easily do that, and might want to help you," Gibbs dismissed.

Tony was getting agitated. He didn't want Gibbs here, he wanted his Papa. His Papa wouldn't shoot down his ideas at every turn, would listen to him the first time, would help him through this. Instead he was left alone, floundering.

"Come on, Tony, focus, here! We have to think of something!" Gibbs ordered.

"I  _am_  thinking of things! You're the one who's shooting them down!" Tony snapped.

Gibbs gave him a funny look and Tony ran his hands through his hair. Why couldn't Gibbs understand that he wasn't able to be adult right now? That didn't just mean he couldn't be headslapped! Tears came to his eyes and Gibbs held his hands up. "Tony, use your words. What's wrong?"

And wasn't that just rich? Again, asking something of Tony he wasn't sure he could do. Gibbs  _knew_  Tony had problems articulating things! But because DiNozzo could do it, he was being forced to that standard, and it wasn't  _fair_! He shook his head, clutching at it and whining softly.

"Tony, hey," Gibbs said, starting to sound like Papa but still too irritated for it to be believable. "Come on, what's wrong? Help me out here."

Tony bit back a sob. He didn't want to get kicked off the team, honestly he didn't, but if he didn't say anything Gibbs might start yelling. "You push too hard," he said. "I can't...can't do adult things right now. 'Cause 'm not an adult."

Gibbs blinked once, twice. Then, "Is that why you've been so squirrelly the past few weeks?"

Tony looked down and away, ridden with guilt. Gibbs ran his hands through his hair with a sigh, and sounded more like Papa than he ever had at work when he said, "Kiddo, why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't...didn't wanna get kicked off the team..." Tony said.

Gibbs shook his head, looking around desperately. "I wouldn't have kicked you off, I would have put a plan in place so we didn't have to deal with this."

Tony felt guilt gnaw at his stomach. "My fault..." he said softly.

"No, not your fault," Gibbs said. "I'm not exactly approachable about these sorts of things. Just...tell me in the future, will you?"

Tony nodded seriously. "What do we do now?" he asked, eyes starting to water.

Gibbs scratched his head and shrugged. "I honestly don't know. How well do you think you could fake a panic attack?"

"Not sure it would be faking now," Tony said, laughing uncertainly.

Gibbs cursed again, softer this time. "I heard that," Tony teased.

"Into the back," Gibbs said, ushering him inside. "I'll tell Blackadder you almost had a panic attack and you need some time to yourself to regain your bearings."

Okay. Okay, Tony could play along with that. He nodded, and Gibbs closed the doors, leaving Tony in the mostly-dark back of the van. He didn't really feel like being stuck alone with his thoughts, but he couldn't talk to anyone in the front of the van without Viv knowing Gibbs had lied, and that was worse that being on his own and thinking.

This was the first time he had really gotten little at work, aside from that time when Gibbs had headslapped him. It was kinda scary, if he was being honest. All sorts of big adults, asking him to do things he wasn't sure he could do, people who wouldn't go easy on him just because he was a kid, or who might take advantage of that fact and try to get him to do things for them. He hugged his knees to his chest and leaned against the back doors of the van. He didn't want to be little right now. But he didn't know how to age up, and he was so scared that even if he could, he'd probably just slip right back down again.

It was frustrating, and it made him want to cry. Because he was disappointing Gibbs, and he really, really, more than anything else in the world, did  _not_  want to disappoint Gibbs. He wanted someone to be proud of him, so desperately. Have someone who'd look at him and smile and go, "I know him. He's a good person. I'm proud to have him as a friend."

Before he knew it, tears were falling down his face and he could barely breathe. He just wanted Papa. He wanted someone who cared about him to tell him everything would be all right, even if it wouldn't be right away, because it would be eventually. He longed for the day that he could wake up without worrying about what other people thought of him, without wondering if today was the day Gibbs would get sick of him and fire him, cast him aside like everyone else in his life had always done.

He moved away from the back door and closer to the front, but not so close that he could see Viv and Gibbs. Though they could probably hear his crying, he just wanted to believe that no one had to know that was what he was doing. He breathed in, trying to hold the air in his chest but having it be ruthlessly shoved out instead. Not even the steady thrum of the engine that he could feel in his feet was calming him down. He was desperate, and lonely, and he needed someone to hug him  _right now_.

Some indeterminable amount of time later, he could hear the engine stop, and rushed footsteps outside, and the backdoor opened. "Oh, Tony," a familiar voice murmured. But it wasn't Gibbs, at least not the way Gibbs sounded at work. This was Papa.

Arms encircled him and Tony leaned into the embrace, desperate for reassuring touch. As he cried, Papa shushed him gently, murmuring, "It's okay, it's okay," over and over and over again.

It really wasn't, at least not to Tony, but he appreciated the sentiment, and the fact that Papa seemed to know that was what he needed right now.

"I sent Viv upstairs the second we came back, saying that you probably would need some time before you were ready to get back to work, and I'm helping you get there sooner," Papa murmured. "So it's just you and me here, kiddo."

Tony nodded gratefully and mumbled, "Sorry."

Papa leaned back to look Tony in the eye. "Don't apologize," he said. "This isn't something you need to apologize for. It's only natural things might blur for you a little bit. I should have anticipated this happening sooner."

Tony got a glint in his eye as he asked, "So you're saying...Papa screwed up?"

Papa gave him a half-hearted glare. "Watch it, you. I could still make you do extra paperwork if I wanted to."

Tony chuckled and buried his head in Papa's chest. Just the fact that Papa was here had him feeling loads better. He liked Gibbs, honestly, he did. Even when he was a tough boss who pretended that he only cared about results. But Papa had a way of calming him down that no one had ever achieved before. Not his father, not his old bosses or partners, and not even himself. It was...soothing to have someone like that in his life, ready and willing to help.

"Hey, kiddo?" Papa asked.

Tony hummed his acknowledgement.

"Can we talk seriously for a minute?"

Tony felt dread bubble up in his stomach. Papa wasn't going to have him be in trouble for this, was he? "...Yeah?"

Papa kissed Tony's forehead and said softly, "I'm not mad that this happened, okay? I know it's probably gonna happen again. But I want you to know that being little on this job can be dangerous. Understand?"

"...Yeah," Tony admitted. He had realized that much in the van, much as he hated to say that he might not be fit for the job all the time.

"So I want you to warn me when you even  _think_  something like this is going to happen, all right?" Papa requested. "You're hard to read, kiddo. Harder than most people. Half the time I don't know what you're thinking, and the other half you usually tell me what you're thinking. I haven't had enough time to get good at reading you yet. And it's better that I know this could possibly happen than have you drop completely unexpectedly and leave me with one agent down. You know?"

Tony thought about it. That was reasonable. He might not tell Papa  _every_  time he felt like he was going to slip, because that happened a lot and usually it was a false alarm. But if he couldn't shove the feeling away, sorta like how a panic attack just continued building and building up, then he would definitely warn Papa about it. He nodded. "I can do that, Papa."

Papa smiled and kissed Tony's forehead again. "Thank you, baby boy. Do you feel like you could age up enough to at least pretend to work?"

Tony thought about it. It might be difficult, but this wouldn't be the first time he had to work through being little, and at least here Papa knew about it so if he did hit his limit, he had an out. "Yeah," he said. "But I wanna come over to your house tonight. Please?"

"Sure thing, kid. I was thinking about having cowboy steaks, if that sounds good to you?"

Tony looked up curiously. "Cowboy steaks?" he asked.

"I cook steak over the fire in my fire place. It's pretty good, and gives it a sort of smokey taste that you just can't get when it's cooked on a grill," Papa explained.

That sounded really good to Tony. "Sounds good," he said. "I wanna try them."

Papa chuckled. "Be patient, okay? You still have to wait until tonight."

Tony whined and Papa laughed. "Oh yeah, you're feeling better. Come on, upstairs. There's paperwork with your name on it."

DiNozzo broke out of Gibbs' hug, and let out a loud groan. Gibbs just led them both to the nearest elevator and laughed.


End file.
